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GameNetworkingSockets
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..thinking of it, that's definitely something that you might want to try. It just needs a simple (weak) server that sets up the initial P2P connection but does not need to relay every packet. At least we used UDP hole punching successfully in another project.
Their UDP-but-connection-based game networking protocol can be used completely separetely from Steam (it also supports encryption). I think that does not include their relay networking solution, but still.. maybe it's helpful. They also have a TCP-like interface to make it easy to plug into an existing solution.