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InfluxDB
Power Real-Time Data Analytics at Scale. Get real-time insights from all types of time series data with InfluxDB. Ingest, query, and analyze billions of data points in real-time with unbounded cardinality.
However the joke part was more about the very questionable things I saw in main.cpp. stlkrn is a more reasonable take on the idea if a person really wants to do this to himself and others.
Have a look at WIL for a C++ library used by Microsoft themselves, including kernel development.
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