I know that's the name of the language, I'm asking about the first P

This page summarizes the projects mentioned and recommended in the original post on /r/ProgrammerHumor
Virtual Machines Hhvm PHP Hack Hacklang

InfluxDB - Power Real-Time Data Analytics at Scale
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  • HHVM

    A virtual machine for executing programs written in Hack.

    • PHP is nearly as old as the web. Change the conversation and say: I use Hack on the Hip Hop Virtual Machine

  • InfluxDB

    Power Real-Time Data Analytics at Scale. Get real-time insights from all types of time series data with InfluxDB. Ingest, query, and analyze billions of data points in real-time with unbounded cardinality.

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NOTE: The number of mentions on this list indicates mentions on common posts plus user suggested alternatives. Hence, a higher number means a more popular project.

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