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Session: https://getsession.org/
Try Jami https://jami.net/! I'm kind of blown away by how well it works! I originally tried it about a year ago, but it was kind of a pain. My issues with it were fixed when they incorporated UnifiedPush. However, since iPhone will never have something like UnifiedPush, I wouldn't recommend it for iPhone users or people with many iPhone-using friends to convert.
I personally use databag (https://github.com/balzack/databag); it's open source, secure, and has no data collection. You do have to setup your own server, which if you already self host something else, is not much more than deploying a docker container. There are a bunch of other services to choose from, the most popular being matrix.org.