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kilo
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Networking: Manually configured wireguard VPN between all nodes. I consider checking out kilo when I find some time though. VPS handles all incoming traffic (with ingress-nginx) but outbound traffic from containers uses regular network, no VPN.
Backups: A dumb cronjob which backs up NFS backing volumes with restic to Backblaze B2.
Storage: Currently NFS client provisioner with two backing NFS volumes (one on the laptop, one on the VPS). Manually configured in the nodes' OS, and listening only on the VPN interfaces. I have checked Rook.io and OpenEBS(w/cStor) in the past and they work but require quite a lot of RAM. So I went back to old but light NFS. Longhorn only got arm64 support recently, I have not tried it yet.
Networking: Manually configured wireguard VPN between all nodes. I consider checking out kilo when I find some time though. VPS handles all incoming traffic (with ingress-nginx) but outbound traffic from containers uses regular network, no VPN.