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ffi-overhead
comparing the c ffi (foreign function interface) overhead on various programming languages
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Piling on about overhead (and SQLite), many high-level languages take some hit for using an FFI. So you're still incentivized to avoid tons of SQLite calls.
https://github.com/dyu/ffi-overhead
We solved the N+1 queries problem where I work by raising the level of abstraction from "queries plus serialisation" to "what shape data is required". We open sourced the solution at https://www.django-readers.org/.
There's a Ruby gem called Bullet that identifies and warns developers about N+1 problems. You can also have it fail tests if detected.
I don't know if the approach is possible with every ORM or if it's just leveraging some Ruby perks, but I can't think of a good reason why you wouldn't use the equivalent everywhere.
https://github.com/flyerhzm/bullet