githereum VS bit

It sounds like you have some additional constraints that you didn't make clear in your original question.

You said, "Tell me how to do something worth doing with ETH and I'll be impressed."

Also, you need things that you can do without capital, and that fit a specific risk profile that you haven't elaborated on. It sounds like you're assuming that making these yields are too risky for you, so are you looking for zero risk, or can you accept some risk?

Can you specify up front your constraints?

Here are two things you could do with ETH right now:

1. You could use it as the coordination layer for a decentralised git repository, that is fully distributed and censorship resistant. Hopefully you can see how this could easily be adapted to many similar use cases: https://github.com/cardstack/githereum

2. You could purchase flight delay insurance that pays out automatically if your flight is delayed: https://etherisc.com/

> Cue the intellectualization from "investors."

Cue the moving of the goalposts

I built a piece of software that generates Bitcoin private keys using bit and then converts them into WIF before storing them in a database.

Pretty neat! I wrote and now co-maintain a library that has similar ease-of-use for Bitcoin: https://github.com/ofek/bit

Even fewer LoC :)