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>What's with the insistence of running it off of just MySQL?
I think the most honest answer here is that it's planned but not scheduled. There's an open issue to update Textpattern to PDO:
https://github.com/textpattern/textpattern/issues/345
…which will open up a whole new world of possibilities.
The Textpattern dev team & user base is pretty small, and the user base is largely patient, so Textpattern can sometimes fall into a trap of being 'good enough for now' and go for extended periods of time with few commits. What tends to happen is a release is scheduled, takes place, and then the plans for the next release are more forefront in our minds. The most recent release was nearly two years ago, which is a long time in Textpattern terms, but I'm confident we can get Textpattern 4.9 into the release pipeline this winter. More on that here:
https://github.com/textpattern/textpattern/issues/1879