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You could also try dendrite, it's also an official server implementing the matrix protocol but it's way lighter and seem easier to setup. It's still not a full replacement of synapse because it lack some features but for a private usage it should be more than enough
Anyway, if it's all local and plain text, IRC is pretty easy. Bread and butter is group chat, but easy enough to private message as well. ergo (https://ergo.chat/about) is very easy to get going on the server side. And TheLounge (https://thelounge.chat/) is a mobile friendly web client that you can have users authenticate against. Very easy to configure with a SDN like ZeroTier, Nebula, etc.