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A CPU built around the Gentoo philosophy would look like https://github.com/SpinalHDL/VexRiscv ;). Don't want an MMU? Fine. Need a larger RAM interface? You got it. Barrel ALU for DSP? Sure.
Interpreted languages work by consolidating all of the optimization effort in the interpreter. This is similar to how CPUs work now, instead of extremely specific optimizations that are hard to create distributed among all code we use very general optimizations that push the limits of mathematics that is centralized in a CPU.
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Itanium had a lot of contemporary issues that made it not work. I would certainly blame Intel's business practices and reputation for a large part of it. There are likely niches for such processors. The VLIW is useful for DSP or graphics. Indeed, the only extant VLIW (that I know of) processor is the Russian Elbrus. I think the VLIW is only included to let them reuse a lot of the core logic of the CPU to drive a DSP engine, useful for radar and scientific simulation, though the sci sim would probably use commercial hardware which would be faster.
It works on GPUs because they're doing DSP, basically. We could have weirder topologies for GPUs however, like a massive string of ALUs driven off an embedded core, so you try to kachunk all your data in a single clock domain after configuring the ALU string.
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