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You should consider using graphql-ws (https://github.com/enisdenjo/graphql-ws) as the subscription transport if you want to use WebSockets as your Graphql transport.
If you want to do GraphQL subscriptions over HTTP you should look into graphql-helix (https://github.com/contrawork/graphql-helix), which gives you a generic interface for doing subscriptions over HTTP SSE (Server Side Events). graphql-helix can be used with any http transport.
Last but not least, I also created a GraphQL over Socket.io (https://github.com/n1ru4l/graphql-live-query/tree/main/packages/socket-io-graphql-server) transport. I am using this in two smaller apps with a maximum of 10 concurrent users and did not encounter any issues with stale data yet. Maybe this might be somethign you are looking for.
If I can give you an additional tip: Think twice whether you actually need apollo-server. All you need is a way of constructing a schema, which you can either do with the graphql.js programmatic API, graphql-tools (https://www.graphql-tools.com/docs/generate-schema/), or type-safe code first schema builders such as https://giraphql.com/ or https://github.com/sikanhe/gqtx