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You can go all in on "Reactive programming", more infos: Reactive Streams (spec), Spring Reactor, RxJava
If you want to see what a really good example of asyncronous programming is in Java and something familiar to node.js checkout http://vertx.io
Erlang / Elixir aren't winning any benchmarks I know of. See https://www.techempower.com/benchmarks/ for the most popular web server benchmark.
NOTE:
The number of mentions on this list indicates mentions on common posts plus user suggested alternatives.
Hence, a higher number means a more popular project.