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It feels dirty to be adding express as a dependency to a react project, but I'm pretty sure TRPC requires all of client and server code to be in the same node.js project, since types are shared. I've read that you can use a tool like Lerna to share types between node projects, but it requires a build step, which would diminish the benefits of TRPC.
Yes to all 3 choices. T3 app does exactly this. It may be worth looking at their repo as an example to help save you time. https://create.t3.gg/