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If you're ok with coding, fenics is a solid place to start. Also if you're comfortable with coding, openfoam is FVM, rather than FEM, but it can handle solidmechanics.
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There are two versions of openfoam, one closed source (which is the one I linked to in my original comment, my apologies about that) and the open source version. But what you're describing makes it sound like fenics might be your best option.
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InfluxDB
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